“Mississippi gets more than their fair share back in federal money, but who the hell wants to live in Mississippi?” -Charles Rangle, New York Congressman, 2006

If you listen to the Ditsy Chicks, if you like Rosie O’Doggerel and if you think John Kerry is cool, then more than likely you assume the South sucks. Yep, our current culture has been brow beaten by the loons on the Left into viewing the South as societal swill.

In Hollywood, the hedonistic thought thugs make certain that Southerners are tarred and feathered as inbred, Ricky Bobby, moonshine slammin’, KKKMart shoppin’, fat back eatin’, cousin humpin’ square dancers with three teeth and an IQ of 50.

The liberal Belief Police want America to hate the South because the South represents the Secular Regressive’s (SR) chief political and cultural (and armed, I might add) high hurdle.

The autoerotic “elite,” which form the intellectually line bred gene pool of the soulless Left, are hell bent to bar from our borders all praises and practices of the principles which have made the South substantial. What are the things that make Dixie so darn good? Well, I know it’s hard for those of you who are wedged up Hollywood’s backside to understand our virtues, but its stuff like author Clint Johnson points out in his predestined to be best-seller The Politically Incorrect Guide to the South (and Why it Will Rise Again) . . .

• A strong sense of patriotism that protects the rest of the nation. Dasypygals on the left who incessantly bash the South and hate everything sweet home Alabama stands for ought to eat a little sautéed crow tonight and send the South a thank you card in the morning, as the South makes up the overwhelming majority of the armed forces who protect our country and are willing to take a bullet for these ungrateful and derisive jackasses. The South accounts for 35% of the population, but 41% of the military recruits.

• A conscience about race relations. Johnson states, “The South has never denied its role in perpetuating slavery. The South and only the South have apologized profusely for its role in slavery.” Since the slave days, “black income in the region has steadily increased, neighborhoods have been integrated, black politicians have been elected to major offices, and black business people have emerged to head national corporations. In the south regional patriotism trumps race any old day.” And if the South hates blacks the way the way your lesbian US History teacher says they do, then why, according to the 2003 US Census Bureau, are hundreds of thousands of blacks blowing off the North and moving down South, huh?

• A sense of morals and religion. The fact that we haven’t flushed God and Christ down the toilet, as the anti-Christ secularists want us to do, has made the liberal, tassel-shoed Nancy’s have a hissy. When other sectors of our society are shamefully caving to the godless cabal’s secular agenda and keeping quite about their convictions, the South sits back, yawns, scratches its belly, and then shoots these glib sisters a defiant rebel finger. In addition, no matter how much the liberal Presidential dopefuls play the “we like Jesus and Moses, too” card in the upcoming ’08 election, the South isn’t fooled. We see the fecal fumes coming off their heads. Serious faith is a southern thang, a conservative thang, and not a 21st century liberal thang.

• A welcoming environment for business. WalMart (the world’s largest retailer), Exxon, FedEx, Coca-Cola, Lowe’s, Delta, Krispy Kreme, Toyota, Honda, Saturn, Nissan, BMW, Mercedes and Home Depot (as well as a slew of others) are finding that they don’t need Rust Belt to rake in the cash as the Bible Belt is working mighty fine for them.

• A creative atmosphere. Clint further prods the north by taunting them with their lack of creativity. He states that, “few folks think about ‘northern literature,’ but there is an abundance of southern literature. There’s no such thing as northern music. I’m sorry, rap is a NY derivative. But then again rap is not music. There is, though, country music, southern rock, southern jazz, southern blues and bluegrass. CJ goes on to say that “there is something about southern lovers, rivers, dogs, ex-wives, ex-husbands, magnolias, pine trees, eccentrics, and soldiers that keep writers and musicians inspired. “

• Real men. “Southern men are gentlemen, but they’re also uncompromising, opinionated, and won’t defer to what ‘the group’ wants. . . . ” America needs men who stick by their guns and southern men do just that. Southern men, saith Clint, don’t flip flop; they stick to the convictions and principles they got from their families. Remember families?

• Real women. Unlike the female chauvinist pigs on the Left, Southern women are charming and ladylike and like their menfolk, they have backbones of steel. Also, note to single guys: from Georgia peaches to Mississippi belles, there’s no doubt about it: southern women are prettier. Since the first Miss America pageant in 1921, one-third of the winners have been Southern. Continued...