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OPINION

We Can’t Let Ourselves Be Oppressed by Weirdos, Losers, and Mutations

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
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Screenshot/Fox News/TikTok

Have you noticed the absolute freakshow quality of the people who want to keep us in chains? Perhaps it’s one thing to be repressed by people who are at least nominally badass, like Romans or Mongols. But these geebos who make up the Democrat Party’s loudmouth wing? The sexually hopeless toads outraged because other people who might someday know the loving touch of another human can’t whack their babies? No. Not only does their tyranny fail the freedom test, it fails the aesthetic test.

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We simply cannot allow ourselves to be serfs toiling in the fields of a bunch of people who, in any just and sane society, would spend their lives living in fear of getting wedgies for being so bizarre.

Look, I’m not saying that our society should bring back bullying nerds. I am simply observing that when nerds were busy trying to avoid swirlies in the boys' room, they did not have the time to devote to getting their groomer allies access to Kindergarteners. If Melvins and Pointdexters living in fear is the price of little kids not getting chatted up by pedo-adjacent strange-os, I say that’s a bargain. 

All leftists are insufferable, but this current crop is insufferable in many diverse ways. It’s not just the ones who defile or mutilate themselves to get their parents’ attention. It also includes ones that don’t tatt up, who appear normal until they open up their kale holes. Think Nina Jankowicz. On the surface, she looks like any other childless, middle-aged Chardonnay-guzzler who is pushing 40 but has failed thus far to earn the love of a man. But when she starts talking, yikes. And just look at the antics of that fascist disinformation girl. She sings show tunes. She’s into Harry Potter – non-threatening sensitive and magical boys are sooooo dreamy. She’s also eager to shove you into a train car headed to a gulag, and as it pulls away from the station she’ll be shouting at you ruffians to use your inside voices.

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That’s right – the mediocre girl who played the lead in your high school’s production of “Hello, Dolly!" – which you skipped to go pound Buds with your pals like normal people – is the harbinger of tyranny.

Ugh, that’s so sad. Tyranny is intolerable even if you are facing a worthy foe. But tyranny by this kind of over-credentialed, shame-free dork? No way. Never.

And that’s true of the rest of the salty commie crew. Pierced beings with blue hair. Fat-positive behemoths in spandex. Daddy-issue goofs of all genders who can’t do a push up. If we are going to lose our country and our freedom, it can’t be to this gallery of goblins. At least with proper enemies – like, say, the Hessians – you could get some satisfaction shoving a bayonet into their guts. With these weebles, you fail to call them by their bespoke pronouns and they collapse into a sobbing heap. Where’s the challenge?

We simply cannot lose to these people. It’s undignified.

And it’s unnecessary. The only way they win is if we let them win. They can’t take a punch, and the whole caste of them – which probably numbers a couple million across the country – collectively probably has access to about as many guns as the average Trump voter. The only threat they pose is to fetuses, and pretty soon only in Moloch-friendly states like Cali and New York. They talk big about revolutions and insurrections, but they have neither the cold steel or the upper body strength to pull it off.

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What are they going to do – pester us into submission? Yes, that’s actually their plan. They really think that if they call us “racist” enough, if they moan enough about patriarchy, if they bleat enough about how us saying what we think is “unsafe” we will simply give up. And they have a point – a lot of those from the Miracle Whip faction of the GOP have prioritized politeness over freedom and tried to treat this coterie of creeps with respect. 

But here’s the thing. These weirdos have not earned our respect. Instead, they leveraged our courtesy and tolerance, often amplified for the fact that we feel sorry for these failed humans, against us to neutralize our resistance. “Oh no, don’t point out how that show tunes girl is a ridiculous adolescent fetishizing children’s books and singing kiddie songs in her affected drama geek voice.” No, we’re supposed to pretend that she’s not a joke, and that we should take seriously her insights into how it’s dangerous to allow us the free speech rights God invested us with upon our creation.

But we’re done pretending. We’re done being nice. We tried being cool, live and letting live, and then we noticed the lack of reciprocity. It’s live and let submit, and that’s a bad deal. Hard pass.

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You weirdos, losers, and mutations could have been cool. You could have done your own thing and ignored us like we ignored you. But no. No, you wanted more. You wanted to be the Big Non-binaries on Campus. Except you don’t get to, because you suck and we’re not going to be ruled over by theater dorks, infanticide fetishists, and bitter fringies. 

We’re going to rule ourselves, and my advice is to keep the hell out of our faces lest you figuratively end up hanging by your Fruit-of-the-Looms from the flagpole.

Conservatives Must Stand Together and Fight. Join Townhall VIPAnd Check Out Last Week's Stream of Kurtiousness, If Biden Cancels Student Loan Debt, We're Going to See FireworksAnd my podcast, Unredacted.

Go pre-order "We'll Be Back: The Fall and Rise of America" now; it comes out July 12 but the right time to own the libs – which it does epically – is right this minute. I am also in the midst of writing Inferno, Kelly Turnbull No. 7, the next book after The Split, for release this fall. Spoiler: It is a sequel, not a prequel, in that it picks up right after Collapse with the US and the blue dictatorship still at war. Oh, there’s shooting. Is there ever shooting. It’s also going to be lit – literally. 

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