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Since today is my 39th birthday, I've decided to celebrate it by doing something nice. I'm going to apologize for an article I wrote last week, which was critical of the campus diversity movement. Of course, anyone who reads my columns realizes that I criticize the diversity movement every week. But last week I really crossed the line and upset a number of feminist readers by making remarks critical of a play called The Vagina Monologues.

The criticisms of my article have been two-fold. First, I stand accused of unfairly referring to The Vagina Monologues as a "pedophilic play." Second, I stand accused of falsely claiming that last year our Women's Resource Center paid for an advertisement for the play, which read "P***ies Unite at The Vagina Monologues . . . Sponsored by the (UNCW) Women's Resource Center."

First, I admit that I did state the following in my previous editorial: "Clearly, a portion of (The Vagina Monologues) celebrates a sexual act between an adult lesbian and a thirteen year-old girl. It also recounts an interview of a six-year-old girl, conducted by the author, which asks the child what her vagina smells like."

Several feminist readers have informed me that the play has been modified so that the most recent version celebrates a sexual act between an adult lesbian and a sixteen year-old girl. Well, I suppose that makes everything okay.

Perhaps the sixteen year-old has a "right to choose" to have sex with an adult lesbian. And now, maybe feminists will support their "right to choose" to have sex with adult heterosexual males. And why wouldn't they, since most feminists already support the teenagers "right to choose" to have an abortion without their parents' consent?

Of course, the interview of the six year old (asking what her vagina smells like) has not been modified in the newer version of the play. But the feminists don't seem to take issue with that. After all, many girls have already been taught how to masturbate and how to put a condom on a banana by the time they're six. Of course, that assumes that they attend a public school.

Turning to the issue of our Women's Center's promotion of the play, here is what I wrote last week: "a poster advertisement for the play, which was paid for by the Women's Center . . . called for all "p-----s" to unite and attend the pedophilic feminist play." Continued...