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OPINION

Stop Telling People to Only Vote on Election Day

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
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AP Photo/Teresa Crawford

Look, it usually doesn’t help to be harsh, but sometimes you have to be. So, harsh it is.  If you are one of those conservatives saying that we should only vote on election day and not use mail-in voting, ballot harvesting, early voting, or any of the tactics, techniques, or procedures that Democrats have used to win elections, then you’re an idiot.

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There’s no sugarcoating it – you’re just plain stupid. I don’t know what the hell is wrong with you, but you need to pull your head out of your fourth point of contact and get with the program. We’re here to win, and that means mastering rules of the game as they exist, not as we wished they existed. You know what I’d like? I’d like one day of voting where everyone shows ID and marks a paper ballot and it’s counted publicly. You know what else I’d like? I’d like a pet unicorn. I’d name him Chet. But I’m not going to get a pet unicorn. And I’m not going to convince a bunch of Democrat state legislatures or a Democrat Senate to do what I want. I don’t know why this is hard to understand. It should not be hard. It’s obvious. 

Mastering the tactics, techniques, and procedures of the enemy works to defeat Democrat election shenanigans. Look what happened in California. In 2018, we got slaughtered because the communists were using California law to ballot harvest and do all the other things that allowed Democrats to mobilize their indolent, stupid, and lazy electorate and convert those morons’ feelz into counted ballots. So, in 2020, we did the same thing to mobilize normal people. We went to churches and gun shows and other places where patriots hang out, and you know what? We won a bunch of congressional seats. Holy cow! Republicans gaining seats in California? Yeah! Election tactics matter.

I am baffled about the near-religious conviction that some of these dogmatic individuals have about voting only in-person on election day. Guess who else wants us to do that? Democrats – perhaps there’s a reason.

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It’s a certifiably stupid thing to do if you can have your people mail in ballots or vote early and don’t. Why? Well, when you vote early, that ballot is banked. It’s done. It’s over. It’s counted. Even in California, I know it’s counted. I get a little email saying, “Hey, we got your ballot and counted it.” They aren’t sifting out the Republican early ballots. They don’t know what’s in the envelope. Mine comes from Ted Lieu’s district near Los Angeles, so it is presumptively from some damn communist. The idea that these half-wit bureaucrats are smart enough to cull out the conservative ballots gives these morons far too much credit. 

In contrast, let’s look at what happened in Nevada last time. In Nevada, there was a freaking storm, and it was the people out in the rural boonies – the people we needed voting for us – who couldn’t get their pickup trucks to the voting place. The culinary workers in  Las Vegas voted weeks in advance under the eyes of their union overlords. We got screwed. But if our people had voted early and banked those votes, we might have won.

How about Maricopa County? You remember that? When and where did the problems arise? In Republican precincts on election day. They suddenly had the wrong ballots, or the machines didn’t work, or whatever. And people left because they couldn’t wait around. But if they had voted early…

Election Day voting makes screwing over Republicans easy because the conservative voters were located in identifiable places all at one single time. All the mail in ballots go into a big pile, so you can’t target patriots. If a machine breaks down during early voting, fine – you come back tomorrow. If all those Arizona Republicans had taken advantage of early voting and mailed in their ballots or gone and done early voting at one of the polling places, that wouldn’t have happened. Learn from your mistakes.

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Oh, and early voting lets the GOP target low propensity voters, the folks who might not vote without getting a call. Election Day should be all about low propensity voters and running up the score, not reminding people who don’t need a reminder. The parties track who has voted – a fringe benefit is that if you have voted no one calls or texts you. Win-win.

But some people still adhere to the dumb idea that only in-person Election Day voting is secure. Who knows why they think that? It’s demonstrably wrong. Again, I wish things were different. I wish we had one day voting like they do in the rest of the civilized world. But that’s not the world we live in. That’s not the battlefield we’re fighting on. We don’t have that choice. Should we work for it? Yeah. And you know what would be helpful in that battle? Winning some freaking elections so we have the legislative majorities to enact those laws. But right now, we don’t. Right now, we have to find each location and figure out exactly how to get as many ballots counted as possible. That’s all that matters. Good intentions don’t matter. Wishing doesn’t matter. Wanting doesn’t matter. Counted votes matter. And only counted votes.

There’s a principle of engineering, the single point of failure. That means the one place in a system where, if it goes wrong, everything screws up. That’s why we have redundancy. Airplanes don’t fail because there are two or three of everything, unless you’re flying on the new DEI-friendly Boeing. The single point of failure in GOP campaigns is Election Day. Putting all our electoral eggs in one electoral basket makes it not only easier for the enemy to cheat but easier for us to cheat ourselves. How many votes do we lose because the Buick didn’t start or because Jimmy had to be picked up from school because he stuck a pencil up his nose again? How many votes do we lose because people just forget? If you vote six weeks ahead of time, you’re done. Finished. Your ballot is in. A meteor could strike you on election day, and your vote would still count. Your carburetor won’t stop you from voting. Your moron kid won’t stop you from voting. Your life chaos won’t stop you from voting. Nothing can stop you from voting if you have already voted.

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We have to knock off this ridiculous obsession with Election Day voting. The enemy utilizes all the options. We must too. You’re not going to somehow shame them into changing the system by refusing to vote except on Election Day in person at a polling place. All you’re doing is making it less likely for conservatives to win, which makes it 100% more likely that you will never get the election system that you want. Stop being dumb. You should vote the first day you possibly can get it over with, get it done, and win for a change.

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