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OPINION

Hard Times for the Professional Never Trump Losers

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
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These are hard times for the professional Never Trumpers. Donald Trump is winning this election, they’re not getting the attention they used to, and inflation has made pool boy rates simply outrageous. Those poll numbers showing Trump leading across the country have to be understood as a total repudiation of these jerks, because they are. There are a lot of reasons to want to see Trump win, but in the Top Five is seeing these goofs cry.

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Now, the professional Never Trumpers are not the same as the Republicans and conservatives who just don’t want to vote for Donald Trump. There’s a difference between people who conclude that they don’t want to support Donald Trump and people for whom it’s not only a lifestyle but a job. There are also a lot of people who still have hard feelings over the primary campaign because it was somewhat acrimonious – though historically, it was more like a pillow fight than an apocalypse in the Octagon. I liked Ron DeSantis and still like Ron DeSantis, but I was always going to support the nominee our voters chose. As someone who was taken more grief from the weirdos, losers, and mutations on the fringe of Trump World than any of the people currently citing that motley collection of meme-making, psycho halfwits as the reason not to vote for DJT, I got over it. I’m supporting Donald Trump – proudly and without reservation. And they should support Donald Trump, too, because defeating Joe Biden is the most important thing we can do to save our country.

But the professional Donald Trump haters? They never will, and I don’t want their support besides. Do you want Liz Cheney on your side? Wyoming doesn’t even want her, which is the one policy they agreed on with the Virginia Cowgirl. She was always a Beltway creature. I saw a Harry Potter movie once, and it had an unattractive, officious, fascist lady in it who tormented the little kid wizards, and I don’t remember her name, but that’s Liz Cheney. She’s like the EPA guy in “Ghostbusters” without the charm.

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Look at Mike Pence – please, he’s desperate for someone to look at him. I thought Mike Pence was a good vice president. He’s been a terrible ex-vice president. He actually did the right thing on January 6 and refused to engage in the election nonsense that some people were trying to push him towards. Frankly, if Donald Trump had listened to him, the president would be in a much better place right now. But in the years since leaving office, Pence has fallen victim to this obnoxious tendency of some people to confuse merely doing the right thing with taking a heroic moral stand that they can keep milking again and again and again. Mike Pence simply did his job. He shouldn’t get a medal for that. He also shouldn’t get a platform as some leading voice of the Republican Party. He’s not, unless you can string a telephone line back to 2004. And if you did and called, Nikki Haley would probably answer.

Where the hell is Nikki Haley’s Trump endorsement, anyway? She pledged – she gave her word – that she would support the nominee. I haven’t seen it yet. Maybe it’s coming, to be delivered in a big gathering with lots of hoopla. That would be good showmanship. But I think more likely she’s just mad about her total humiliation and rejection.

I’m not surprised. All these paragons of virtue always take advantage of the Donald Trump Exception to norms and rules and doing what they promise to do. If it’s Donald Trump, none of that applies. You get a free pass. It’s so important to get rid of Donald Trump because he’s dishonest and violates the norms that you are free to be dishonest and violate the norms. Oh, and we cross our heart and hope to die that we won’t do this same stuff to the next conservative Republican politician we want to defeat.

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Have you heard from the Lincoln Project lately? Maybe they’re just laying low because school is in session and they’ll come back when the kids are out for Easter break. Whatever the reason is, they seem to be pretty much gone. We just don’t hear from them much anymore on the Twitters. Maybe their funders decided to spend their money in a more useful way, like lighting it on fire and using it as a suppository.

Alyssa Farah’s rise to mediocrity is based solely on her being the alleged Republican on “The View.” It’s weird how all these regime media Republicans hate everything that Republicans actually support. Now, I admire the sheer audacity of her grift, even though I wouldn’t watch her show any more than I would watch “G-String Jell-O Wrestling With the Stars” featuring Chris Christie and Fani Willis.

Who is this Farah person anyway? She was a non-entity in Republican politics. She’s still non-entity in Republican politics. Yet, somehow, she’s the voice of Republican politics? What Republicans? The ones hanging out at Bill Kristol’s place?

Oh yeah, Bill Kristol. Now that Charlie Sykes has slunk away to spend more time with his families, Billy is the last of the old-school Never Trump OGs. Talk about a lesser son of a greater father. I love to include his fussy characterization of my amazing Kelly Turnbull “People’s Republic” novels as “appalling” among the blurbs on my book covers. No one likes him. He’s box office poison, the Amy Schumer of American politics. Is there a single person out there who wonders, “Say, I wonder what Kristol thinks?” Is he still even getting gigs on MSNBCNN? I mean, they have to be tired of him by now. You don’t even need him anymore. You can just use Google AI and get the same dumb answer.

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See, that’s the problem with the professional Never Trump crew. If you’re going to have a debate, you have to have people who are against particular candidates, and that’s fine. I’m not averse to argument. I think it sharpens you when you have to defend your views and when you’re subject to meaningful criticism. But there’s no defending your views when a Maddow panel consists of six communists and one “Republican strategist” who hasn’t won an election since before Al Gore first started predicting we were all going to drown because of global warming. That’s not a debate. That’s a giant festival of political onanism.

A fatal problem with the professional Never Trumpers is that they’re boring. They have nothing fresh to say. Trump bad. Trump threat to democracy. Trump caused my inability to please my wife.

They’re not interesting. They’re not even good at insulting Trump. They huff and puff and attempt to pose atop the moral high ground and no one cares. They’re not clever or cunning. To the extent their donors are still dumb enough to write them checks, they’re just bought and paid-for hand-operated ventriloquist dummies. But their lifestyle choices aside, as Saul Alinsky pointed out, anything you carry on long enough eventually becomes a drag. And that’s the thing with the Never Trumpers. They’re so boring and predictable that you know exactly what they’re going to say. And it certainly doesn’t help that what they say is so transcendently stupid.


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