Tipsheet

There Are School Walkouts Happening Over Furries. Please Shoot Me Into the Sun.

I thought this was satire—it’s not. A school in Utah is coming under fire for allowing “furries” to infiltrate their campus, reportedly licking and biting students. What the fresh hell is this nonsense? Over 70 students walked out Mt. Nebo Middle School over these shenanigans, with even some members of this bizarre subculture admitting that their activities should not be done during school hours (via Fox News):

Utah's Nebo School District is pushing back on allegations from students about "furries" – people who identify as animals – in their middle school, with some rumors of animal-like "licking" and "biting." 

About 75 parents and students at Mt. Nebo Middle School protested "furries" Wednesday, chanting during a walkout, "We the people, not the animals," "Compelled speech is not free speech," "Stop brainwashing us!" 

At the same time, a petition circulated calling out the "furries." The petition, "Students for Humans at School, not animals aka furries," as of Thursday had over 1,800 signatures. 

[…] 

The district sent out an email to parents in response to the protest. 

"We expect ALL students to be respectful towards each other while we are here at school. We hope you will treat others how you would like to be treated. Outstanding behavior might demonstrate curiosity, understanding, patience and tolerance," the district said. "One of our goals is to ensure that you are able to come to school, each day to learn the academic curriculum and appropriate citizenship. As responsible citizens, we hope you will look out for each other, take care of each other and treat each other with kindness." 

In a statement to Fox News Digital, the district called the allegations "misinformation that had been circulated online." 

"We want to assure you that rumors circulating online about student behavior are completely untrue," the district said. "These are 11 and 12-year-old students, and while sometimes these children may come to school with a headband that has ears, sometimes with giant bows, and sometimes dressed as their favorite athlete, there have been no students attending school wearing masks, animal costumes, or acting like animals." 

Local news interviewed “Strudel” who tried to make a sensible point about this controversy, but the costume—I can’t take it seriously:

Furries in schools—allegedly. Please pass the hemlock.